Articles

Why Elephants?

You may have noticed the elephants on my website and on my business card. Someone said to me, "You obviously like elephants." I remember being surprised at that, because, even though I had a love for wildlife in general, I had never been particularly attracted to elephants. How had these elephants paraded into my life?

In August of 2009, my friend invited me to go on a meditation tour to India with her the following February. I was interested in going, but did not have the money for it at the time. I really wanted to go, so the trip was always in the back of my mind.
 
In early December I had just finished our first round of calls (the precursor to our current 'Get Happy Get Results!' program), which was pivotal in raising my level of attraction. The money had shown up, so I called my friend and told her that I was going on the tour. She said, "But Barbara, you can't go. The tour is sold out." I promptly responded, "What does that have to do with me? I’m going!"

I called the group that was sponsoring the tour and asked to be put on their waiting list. The woman told me that they didn't have one. She said that even if someone canceled, that it was impossible for me to go because no refunds would be given and that all of the traveler information had already been sent to India. Somehow I still had this knowing that I was going.

My friend submitted a post to the tour group website asking others to contact her if there was a cancellation. Feeling strongly that I must 'act as if,' we vowed only to speak of my going. This friend was the only person in my circle of friends and family that knew I did not have a confirmed reservation.

I proceeded to plan my trip, including applying for my Visa. The big leap of trust that I needed to make was to book my airfare. Exactly three weeks before I was to leave, I told my friend that I was going to purchase my tickets that day. About two hours later, she called screaming into the phone, "You're going to India! We're going to India together!" I still remember how calm I was at that moment, secure in my knowing that I had always been going. That didn’t last long; soon we were both squealing with delight and anticipation!

The tour group did not hesitate at all in refunding the other traveler's money and booking me in her place. And the trip itself continued to unfold, with too many synchronicities and joyful surprises to tell here now. There were so many that my tour group often commented on how I was creating 'miracles.' For me, there was nothing miraculous about it; it was deliberate creation!

While walking one of the streets in Pushkar, I saw an elephant tapestry from a distance, and it was love at first sight! I told myself that I would hang it in my full-time office someday. When I returned from my trip, my office mate had moved into his own office, and I had the office all to myself. The elephant became the focal point of the room, and I was tickled to find that many of our Center's clients were also drawn to it!

After my great success in creating so many things that I desired, I decided to add Law of Attraction coaching to my practice in order to support others in creating what they want. I had a new company name, get happy get happier^©, so new business cards were in order. I was looking for a 'happy' theme, so when I found a card with a singing elephant, I knew it was the perfect one for me!

                                       Feelings:  Experience, Express, Emote
                                                  Do It for Your Health! 


I had just come home from work. I felt angry. It was a familiar feeling, and that particular day, I dealt with it in my usual way: stuffing it way down where I didn't have to feel it. I wasn't angry with any specific person or circumstance; it was a very generalized feeling. Over time, I had used a lot of energy to keep that anger at bay, and I was tired. Tired of being angry, tired of living. There seemed to be no other options for me. I called a friend of mine.

She lovingly said, "It's just a feeling and nothing to be afraid of. Anger is not who you are. Just let it come up, be with it, and really feel the emotion."

"I am afraid that years of anger will come out," I fearfully replied. She reminded me that I was home alone, so that it was safe for that anger volcano to erupt.

When I hung up the phone and thought about what she had said, I decided that I had nothing to lose. "Where do I start, since the rage is so generalized?" I thought to myself. Then I realized that there were a couple of people at work who always triggered me. I thought of them one at a time, picturing each of them in front of me, and I yelled at them aloud for things they had said and done to me.

After about five minutes had passed, I got quiet. I looked for more anger, but couldn't find any. I was shocked! How could it be that there was no aggravation left, when I had been so provoked by these people over the 3 years that I had worked with them? How could it be that I was now calm? How could it be that the Pandora's box of fury that I had envisioned had not been unleashed?

I was done. It had been easy and short-lived. I was OK with life again, with living. How many years had I dreaded that release, anything that might make me lose control? And here I was—the process over and done in 5 minutes, and I had my life back. I had not disintegrated. I was still the same person, albeit much relieved and more at peace. What HAD I been afraid of?

How had I gotten to this point? I was not successful, really, at stuffing my feelings. I had even tried avoiding the feelings with food (a very literal approach of 'stuffing!'). I took that anger with me everywhere I went. It was expressed subconsciously as passive aggressive behavior. The energy spent in attempting to bury the emotions was being wasted. Eventually my health started to deteriorate. The doctor called my symptoms "stress-induced." So the emotions were being expressed, but not in a healthy way.

I would encourage you to fully experience, express and emote your feelings as they come. It will be much healthier for you, mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. Not only will you be avoiding inevitable pain and disease, you will have more energy—the energy that you were using to hold those emotions back. Find a way to feel safe to express. Don't judge your emotions: don't get attached to them, or reject them. Do it for yourself. Do it for your health!


Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is a very gentle, relatively quick, and effective way to help you with your personal challenges in expressing your emotions appropriately as they come.

                                                        Father's Day

For many years, I dreaded picking out a card for my father to honor him on the third Sunday of June. One year I stood in front of the Father's Day section and cried. It seemed that no card described the relationship that I had with my dad. And in fact, I thought, none of the cards described the relationship any of my friends had with his or her dad. Always choosing a sentiment that was honest, I would find some card that said very little, and one that described our superficial relationship.

Two years ago, as I stood once again in front of the card section, I decided to do something differently. My thoughts were: 1) I will send him a card that describes the relationship that I always wished I had with him! 2) He never reads the greeting card sentiment anyway; he just opens a card straightaway, and might or might not read what someone had added to the card.

I have always called my parents on their day, and that year was no exception. My mother saves the cards as they come in the mail from all 3 of her daughters, and presents them to Dad to open on Sunday. My father, age 80, had just arrived home from church when I called. Mother handed him my card to open while he was on the phone with me. I didn't remember this ever happening before, and I was a little panicky. OK, a lot! Then I was reminded that he never reads them anyway.

Dad opened the card, and proceeded to read every word out loud to me! I was horrified, but remained silent. The card said something about his always having been there for me, and supporting me regardless of my decisions. To me, it spoke of unconditional love. As my dad finished reading it, without skipping a beat, he replied assuredly, "Well, that's right."

I have to admit that it took a while to sink in—maybe hours, or maybe days. But I realized that was how he saw our relationship. A healer helped me to consider that maybe my father had loved me unconditionally all those many years. It just hadn't look like it from my perspective. Unconditional love from my father hadn't looked the way I had pictured it. And maybe it was my stubbornness that blinded me to what I wanted to see so badly.

Perhaps for the first time, I loved him unconditionally.


To Daddy, with all my love,
your baby daughter